The truth.

This is weird.
i hvnt blogged in FOREEVER.
so yeah, this is like my Spare blog.
go to my tumblr.
glitterandalcohol.tumblr.com

Anyways.
Im sick of it.
It: its this feeling that, IDK. its just, when I go everywhere, gigs, malls, shows,
theres always the crowd where im suppose to belong to, but im not.
Its like, me being the alternative person, and they are tooo, but theyre not my friends.
And when i look at their friends and their photos, Im thinking, hey, why am I not a part of them.
I know them, weve talked, weve hung, but im not a part of them, and its weird because were the same, you know what i mean?
I mean, Im sick of being the odd one out always.
Really. I dont belong anywhere.
When im in singapore, these stupid fucks call me malaysian.
When im in malaysia they call me singaporean.
I JUST WANT TO BELONG.
I am so sick of being different.
okay, THE TRUTH.
Why is my hair only one-coloured now days? because im so sick of being diff.
Why do i use only up eyeliner? because i wanna be like everyone else.
I mean, diff ppl hang out with their own type.
I hang out with different form different ppl.
Im not saying i need new freinds, I LOVE MY FRIENDS.
they mean so much to me.
YOU KNOW, no matter what i do, I DONT FIT IT>
and, i use to love not fitting in, I used to DGAF abt all this shit.
But, its affecting me really badly now.
Its this feeling of unwantedness, i just wanna be normal.
And fit in.
I cant take staying in malaysia., its easy fer you guys to say, " its okay, yer mom is the one who drives what"
NO , its not just that.
The fact that, I used to love school so much.
Until i had to wake up so early and get into a jam every fucking morning.
The joy that i get when my mom says i dont have to go to school tommorow.
\Im like wtf, its just a day without school. WHY AM I SO HAPPY?
the only thing that makes me really happy now is just those few words.
i just, cant take it.
and theres no one i can talk to about this and, i swear one day, im just gonna breakdown.
How long do you really expect me to keep bottling up everything.
I just cant do it.
Its hard, really.
Its not cool, its not tiring, its not fun, its not stressing. Its HARD.
really.
I am SO DIFFERENT.
i just wanna be someone else.
i hate being my ugly self.
Im not worth anything.
Nobody wants me.
Im annoying.
As far as I know, my parents just wanna get rid of me.
My sister, keeps doing better than me in everyfuckingthing.
ITS SO ANNOYING.
and yknow, my heartfelt thanks go to these people Ive met in malaysia; Johor , terrenganu , Merang and Lang sari.
Reallly, you guys picked me rather then my sister.
I can bet on mylife no one in singapore would ever do that.
My sister is too hot too resist, for Singaporeans.